So what exactly has gotten in the way?
As you guessed it, OO has now become another different baby, or a different child, I should say. She's the most active baby among her baby friends, as she really is literally unstoppable. She now has a bruise on her face and some minor cuts on her fingers, but that did not stop her from exploring her world. This level of activity combined with a decreased interest in eating (gosh I can write another blog on how mealtime has become a huge struggle), she is no longer that chubby baby with all the cute rolls. In many ways she reminds me of myself when I was a child - active, curious, mischievous and never cease to get into trouble, so my parents are now eyeing my parenting (more like my fumbling) with a twisted sense of satisfaction. If I can read their thoughts it'll probably be something like: "So you said you hated us doing this to you, and let's see what you're gonna do with OO!" Or: "I'm dying to see you how you're gonna put all your wonderful theories into practice!". *Sweating* As of now, between watching OO, chores, coming up with creative menu choices, and perhaps doing a little something for myself occasionally, I'm really finding it hard to sit down to record my thoughts before they vanish.
And then there's the search of childcare for when I go back to work in February. Initially we had wanted to hire help at home so OO can stay away from the germ-ridden daycares. We were willing to trade socializing and perhaps more learning for a cleaner healthier environment, but things never quite work out the way you intended. Finding the right person whom you can trust, who's willing to come to our home full-time at the rate we can afford seemed like an impossible proposition, so we had to settle with a daycare that a friend recommended. After visualizing OO being cared for at her own home for as long as I've had her, I really have to work on coming to terms with this drastically different choice. I have to admit that I do feel guilty to a certain extent, because it does feel like I am abandoning her after spending almost a whole year of living like conjoined twins with her. But after seeing her just took off from my loving arms and played on her own at a daycare we visited, this whole dropping-her-off-at-daycare business may not be like the gut-wrenching scene where she would wail and cling onto my leg as I said my tearful goodbye like I had envisioned before. Gut-wrenching still, but maybe more for me.
Last but not least, there is all the lovely festivities of December - my ?th birthday and the endless shopping/gift-giving/gift-receiving/cooking/eating/partying/Church-going all in the name of Christmas. Enough said.
On that note, I'll have to conclude my attempt to squeeze the happenings of a whole month into an entry while OO is napping.
Until my next entry, have a very merry and blessed Christmas!
