December Ramblings

I never realized time really does go by that much faster when you have a household to care for. Before I know it it's another month since my last posting. I have to say, many many thoughts have crossed my mind and I had wanted to blog them, but all the little or big things that got in the way dampened my inspiration beyond repair. And as you can see, I can't even bring myself to type in Chinese because if I do, it'll probably be another month before you'll hear from me again.

So what exactly has gotten in the way?

As you guessed it, OO has now become another different baby, or a different child, I should say. She's the most active baby among her baby friends, as she really is literally unstoppable. She now has a bruise on her face and some minor cuts on her fingers, but that did not stop her from exploring her world. This level of activity combined with a decreased interest in eating (gosh I can write another blog on how mealtime has become a huge struggle), she is no longer that chubby baby with all the cute rolls. In many ways she reminds me of myself when I was a child - active, curious, mischievous and never cease to get into trouble, so my parents are now eyeing my parenting (more like my fumbling) with a twisted sense of satisfaction. If I can read their thoughts it'll probably be something like: "So you said you hated us doing this to you, and let's see what you're gonna do with OO!" Or: "I'm dying to see you how you're gonna put all your wonderful theories into practice!". *Sweating* As of now, between watching OO, chores, coming up with creative menu choices, and perhaps doing a little something for myself occasionally, I'm really finding it hard to sit down to record my thoughts before they vanish.

And then there's the search of childcare for when I go back to work in February. Initially we had wanted to hire help at home so OO can stay away from the germ-ridden daycares. We were willing to trade socializing and perhaps more learning for a cleaner healthier environment, but things never quite work out the way you intended. Finding the right person whom you can trust, who's willing to come to our home full-time at the rate we can afford seemed like an impossible proposition, so we had to settle with a daycare that a friend recommended. After visualizing OO being cared for at her own home for as long as I've had her, I really have to work on coming to terms with this drastically different choice. I have to admit that I do feel guilty to a certain extent, because it does feel like I am abandoning her after spending almost a whole year of living like conjoined twins with her. But after seeing her just took off from my loving arms and played on her own at a daycare we visited, this whole dropping-her-off-at-daycare business may not be like the gut-wrenching scene where she would wail and cling onto my leg as I said my tearful goodbye like I had envisioned before. Gut-wrenching still, but maybe more for me.

Last but not least, there is all the lovely festivities of December - my ?th birthday and the endless shopping/gift-giving/gift-receiving/cooking/eating/partying/Church-going all in the name of Christmas. Enough said.

On that note, I'll have to conclude my attempt to squeeze the happenings of a whole month into an entry while OO is napping.

Until my next entry, have a very merry and blessed Christmas!